Wait (Looks Are Deceiving)
by Mynameisntlunabuticanlovegood
Summary: Modern Day AU. OOC. Fannie (aka Odesta). Finnick is fine. Annie is fine. They are both fine. But are they really ? You don't see things you don't want to see. Then you regret. But "then" is too late. Or is it yet ? All you can do is wait. For life, death; whatever seems better to you. (I have a VERY irregular rhythm of posting)
1. Chapter 1

**[A./N.: Hi everyone (or anyone really, seeing how little has been read my other story lately...).**

**I'm here with a new idea - but this is not a happy and all fic this time.**

**I hope the very few people who will read it will like it anyway.**

**Please tell me your impression about this.]**

Annie

_He's really... perfect. I mean look at him. And he has a dream-like life. Straight A's, a nice little family, a beautiful house, an absolutely flawless body, more friends than anyone else... dozens of admirers. While I... No ! You promised you would stop comparing your life to his ! You promised... but you can't help yourself, can you ? ... of course not._

_You are not that smart, you have an average body, normal hair, your family is- stop. We were saying... Oh right. An average body, normal hair, weird green eyes, a horrible voice when you sing... is that all ? You know it's not. There are so many other things wrong with you..._

_I want so much to be loved... but I know I'm not good enough for anybody. Let alone Fin- STOP. Why do you hurt yourself by thinking about this kind of things ? You know you'll never even talk to him. You're too much of a coward to do anything._

_If I was normal I would cry, wouldn't I ? Probably all day long. But we all know you're anything but normal._

_Let's not think about it again._

_Let's not think again._


	2. Chapter 2

[A./N.: Thanks to iluvbooks for her awesome review ! If you haven't yet, go read her stories, they're incredible.

If you like my story please review (even one word would be nice) !

P. S.: I was supposed to update earlier, and a longer and better chapter... but my original one was deleted because of my shitty internet connection ;(

Anyway thanks to everyone who's reading this !]

Finnick

I'm tired... so tired.

Nobody knows me. I'm dying in the inside, but what can they do ? They see the body, the smile, the hair, they hear the voice, the occasional laughter... none of them ever tried to talk to the person underneath.

When I walk through the school's hallways, some people amongst the crowd of students wave at me, some of them smile, some stare blatantly, some queep doing what they were doing, while sending me what they think are subtle looks... At the beginning, some even were daring enough to ask me on dates. And I tried. Believe me I really did. But they all just liked the idea of being seen by my side. They didn't want to know me.

Guess I can't can't blame them, can I ? The inside of my head probably isn't what I would call pretty.

But I'm so lonely...

Sometimes I look around, to find anybody who would be different from the rest of the people. And one day I saw her. But life isn't a fairy tale, and she didn't change mine like she would have if this world was a story in a children's book. I just know she doesn't act special around me, seems rather lonely, and her eyes are so sad...

If I was my old self, I would have been interested in a challenge: a girl who doesn't seem to be head over heels for Finnick Odair ? Let's seduce her !

But I'm not anybody anymore.

I could have been a nice guy to her. Caring, sweet - loving, even.

I could have done her really good. I could have made her see a better side of the world. I could have made her happy.

But I'm too weak to try anything now. I loathe myself. I'm too afraid to try - because of the possibility to maybe end hurting. Sorry, little Annie... I'm not enough of a man - or even a human - to help you. To talk to you.

I'm pathetic. If I were still a person I would be disgusted in myself.

I want so bad to be strong enough to live for real again.

But I'm so tired...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Posted: 06/21/2015**

**Annie**

Sometimes I wish I would just do it already. At least I'd belong to some kind of people.

But I'm afraid. I don't want to be nothing - wait that's already done. I don't want to feel (in lack of a better term; though it's been a long time since I felt anything) nor _see _nothing.

Oh, irony. A suicidal girl, afraid of dying.

I used to be normal. A cute little girl, with two pigtails, then a nice teenager with quite a developed taste for books and reading in general, and then... this. Her. Then I became _her_.

How did _this _happen ? How did _she _happen ? _Right, as if you didn't remember. _No. Please no. Stop. _You did this._ No, that's not true. _You know it is. Stop denying the truth. You're sure you don't remember ? Let's refresh this pretty little memory of yours... _NO PLEASE !

***FLASHBACK***

_She is invisible to him. So what ? She has moved on. She has a boyfriend. If he can date, then so does she. At least Coloniarus sees her. He talks to her. She is pretty sure he makes her feel something._

_Tonight he has invited her to a party he organizes with a few of his friends. She dresses up, styles her hair instead of letting it fall in its usual waves. She looks at herself in the mirror; she feels... pretty. He is two years older than her, he is quite attractive. She wants to be more desirable to him than all the other women she knows he dated or slept with. She wants to feel and look like one, to him - a woman, that is. _

_..._

_This is not what she thought it would be like._

_He had opened the door when she had rang the bell. He already had these big, red eyes, as if he had been crying. She knew, however, that he hadn't._

_She had walked in his apartment. Some guys were on the couch, a few of them looked passed out. Opened bottles of beer were on the coffee table, others, on the floor._

_Music was being played in the background._

_She had sat next to him. One of the passed-out guys seems to have woken up, and was mumbling something along the lines of "chick", "fuckable". She assumed it was adressed to her._

_She didn't feel right here. He turned his head towards her, and said that "she had to try that, she'd feel so good"._

_She is not stupid, she knows what that kind of weird-smelling cigarette is._

_He doesn't see her. She has moved on._

_Just one time can't hurt, right ?_

_._

_Well, believe her, a dozen can, very bad._


	4. Chapter 4

**Updated: 07/10/2015**

Finnick

It's been harder not to look at her for these past few days.

I'm not in love, don't worry - even though there'd be no one to be worried anyway. It's just... she's fucking it all up.

Snoz is a twisted son of a bitch, and she doesn't need that. Now I hear them talk about how high they all were during his latest "parties". She is part of that group now.

He is not good for her. Not good at all. I doubt there'd be anyone worse for her - but again I'm not one to talk.

I hate her for doing this. Taking the easiest decision. I have had that temptation to go and just smoke, drink and forget about all the bad things. I often have this need, still now. But I try not to give up to it.

She was supposed to be the strong one ! I hate her because she's been weak ! I HATE HER ! And I know it's not fair but shit HOW DARE SHE ?! Now what am I supposed to do ? It can't be my turn to be the strong one, because I AM NOT FUCKING STRONG ! STOP SAYING THAT ! SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU ALL ! STOP BEING IMPRESSED; OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AND SEE ME ! SEE HOW BROKEN I AM ! I AM NOT STRONG !

CAN'T ANYONE SEE ANY-FUCKING-THING ?! I AM DEAD INSIDE ! I AM TIRED OF PRETENDING ! FUCKING HELL I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE ! PLEASE TAKE AWAY THE PAIN ! PLEA-


	5. Chapter 5

Rumors. That's all they are. Right ?_ Riight... if you want... _It can't be.. he... _Come on, even you realize you're lying, don't you ? You know they are true. Oooh, look, the headmaster ! Of course, you don't know what he is going to say... not a clue, really ? Stupid stubborn little bitch. Listen, then._

"-I... am coming today in your class to tell you..." _Oh, just say it already ! _"A heartbreaking news... concerning a member of the student body..." _Srtill not accepting the truth ? Up to you. _"M. Finnick Odair..." No... no. No ! NO ! "Had a car accident yesterday, in the evening. His is currently in coma at the hospital Heavensbee. His wounds are quite important; however his chances of survival are rather high. I trust you not to act like children and be kind and supporting to his family and friends, who are of course terribly shocked and scared for his lif- BLACK.


End file.
